The 4 Phases of Triathlon

This was in the April 2007 issue of Endurance Magazine…

FIRST PHASE:
You wear Soccer-style running shorts throughout an entire race – usually a pool sprint. You drink only water on the bike course, which you describe as scenic! You ride a mountain bike, which is about three mortgage payments less expensive than the next cheapest bike. You train alone. Transitioning from the bike to run is extremely painful.

SECOND PHASE:
You have a just-above-entry-level road bike with clip-on aero bars that are too long You paid too much for your bike and all its accessories and your spouse thinks that is insane. You consume the same amount of calories on the 15 mile bike course that most triathletes do in an entire Ironman You think your “GI issues” are because of the brand of gel you used, not the fact that you used 20 in less than an hour Consequently, you overstock on Hammer Gel and Sustained Energy (for your “long ride” of two hours). You still train alone. Transitioning from the bike to run is still extremely painful.

THIRD PHASE:
You are racing international distances now. You ride for at least three hours every Saturday and describe bike courses by the types of hills and numbers of turns they have. You subscribe to three different tri magazines, follow an online training program, and have your own blog. You’ve been professionally fitted for your bike and have already broached the subject of buying a new tri bike to your spouse, who absolutely forbids it. You talk triathlon 24/7, train for 12-14 hours a week, and can’t understand people who aren’t into “being healthy” like you. You wish every workout were a brick Transitioning from the bike to run is easy.

FOURTH AND FINAL PHASE:
Your children think that riding a bike is your job – so does your spouse. Your children’s teachers wonder why they write numbers on their arms and thighs just prior to recess You plan your vacation around your races and won’t vacation where you can’t race. Your spouse is starting to think its normal for people to do a half Ironman on vacation. You ride with a group and swim with masters twice a week.You buy new gear and hide it from your spouse. Hiding the bike was hard. Hiding the coach was easy. Your spouse thinks your coach is just someone you met at the gym, because after all, you’re always meeting new triathletes at the gym. You haven’t posted to your blog in about a year because you are too busy training.